Why don't you approach, enlighten me MEN!
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Why don't men approach women?
This piece is not so much about me going on and on about why men don't approach women; It's more about you men telling us what are some of things that make women unapproachable to you!
Please give me/us some insight as to what are some of the things that won't let you get past that I see you you see me battle without the pursuit.
And don't tell me your scared of getting rejected, so what? I've been rejected, what do I do?
Turn around and walk away!
There are plenty of fish in the sea, what's to me If the clown fish doesn't like me, a hammerhead shark might just be the one!
So please save yourself the manual exercise and the sad excuse of, oooh I'm afraid of being rejected! Man up, grow a pair and If she rejects you walk away and continue mingling with those who do show to be interested.
But please don't just stand there, DO/SAY SOMETHING!
Now tell me why a woman has been unapproachable to you :)
Carpe Diem
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Dear t_Smitts
I do not like being rejected and neither does the rest of the human population that inhabits planet earth. But I hate it when men get clear signs that a woman wants to be approached but they still do nothing. Why?
Shouldn't men be more enthusiastic and willing to approach a lady when she's obviously trying to flirt with him or get his attention. It's always been a taboo for women to approach men and it will always be. Of course there are women out there like myself that even though we know we might get rejected we find the courage withing ourselfes to approach that guy who might be interested, but obviously this only happens when there's somewhat a positive outlook and chances of being rejected are low. But still I take the chance and I put myself out there to be judged, put down, rejected, or even worse being humiliated.
LovesAparadise23, I have approached girls hundreds of times when they looked at me and I got rejected. I even chatted up some girls, had a very good reaction from them, got their numbers... and they never replied to my texts. see? you girls are not so simple to deal with :)
if you "obviously" flirt with a gorgeous guys (because I assume these are the men women lay their eyes on), be aware that these are usually spoilt, vain and with no balls. if he's an average looking guy, you will find out that he DOES have a pair, but you'll probably turn him down because you haven't flirted with him
and I agree with T_Smitts. judging by what you wrote, you come across as spiteful and judgmental and that is hardly an attractive quality
also, why do you assume that, if you flirt with a guy, he must approach you? if he doesn't , maybe he's shy but it can be that he's not interested in you.
have a look here to see what goes through men's minds:
approachanxiety.com
LovesAparadise23:
Maybe the signs are clear to you, but not necessarily to him (men and women ARE wired a bit differently), or maybe he's getting mixed signals, like she's eyeing him while surrounded by girlfriends or a guy friend who may or may not be a boyfriend.
And why should it be a "taboo" for women to approach a man they like? Kind of like how it used to be "taboo" for a woman to vote or have a job? Most guys aren't going to brand you with a scarlet letter for coming over to them and asking about the music playing or where he got his shirt from, thus giving him an opening. (And as for the ones that do, why would wanna be around them anyway?)
There were some studies on this... and apparently 93% of guys are completely oblivious to signs of interest from a woman. That is, when a woman is giving signs that she's interested in being approached by a guy, a full 93% of guys can't even see it. And most of the 7% who can see it are players.
So, the main reason women don't get approached is subtlety. Unless you're grinning ear to ear, and looking into our direction for 10 minutes straight, then, yes, you are in fact truly unapproachable.
Reason number two: Evil witches :D There are actually women out there, who will ACTUALLY show a guy all the interest in the world, like blatantly invite a guy to approach her... and then when he does, she then humiliates him harshly. Now, these women are rare, but they are frequent enough that every guy has had the experience.
So, combine the two... If you're not super-duper smiling and giving every signal in the book... Then a guy is thinking "she's probably not interested". If you are being super-duper direct, he's thinking "ok, she might be interested, or she might be setting me up"... And the pictures of that woman who screwed you over last time flashes across your mind.
Me personally (this was years ago), I had a girl stare and smile at me for 20 minutes straight. So I walk up and say hi... And she says "NOT INTERESTED!!! AT ALL!!!", and turns her back on me. Lol. Its hard not to think of that possibility in the future.
Because of sexist trash like "Man up, grow a pair..." that disgusts me to the core of my very being.
What a joke! Never expect anyone to do what you’re not willing to do for yourself. Men are not here to service women, we have a civilisation to maintain. Men do not think within a collective mind his reasons for not approaching you or any other women are his own and they will be numerous.
The main reason women are at any time unapproachable to men and yes it does happen is quite simply because she wishes not to be approached. I mean no shit right! I’ve been out and about and have had women smile and want to initiate staring contests with me, but at the same time I really couldn’t be bothered going through the same old motions of high school cat and mouse games.
t_smitts 23 months ago
I think if you look over some of your post here, you may find you answered your own question to some degree. Men aren't in a real hurry to someone who looks or sounds intimidating, no matter how attractive they might be.
Telling guys to "man up" and "grow a pair" is definately NOT the way to come of friendly or approachable. Neither is apparently having a total lack of empathy for fear of rejection, simply because you apparently don't have such fear.
Does that help?